Stop Chasing Likability—Here’s Why Respect Rules in Your Business

Leadership is a journey filled with tough decisions, evolving dynamics, and one age-old question: Is it better to be liked or respected? While the allure of likability might feel natural—after all, who doesn’t want to be liked?—chasing it can sometimes steer leaders off course. Respect, on the other hand, serves as the bedrock of effective leadership, fostering trust, accountability, and long-term success.

Let’s explore the nuances of likability versus respect in leadership and uncover how you can cultivate both to build a thriving workplace culture.

Key Differences Between Being Liked and Being Respected

Being Liked

A likable leader is approachable, warm, and fosters camaraderie. They create an environment where employees feel safe to communicate openly and collaborate freely. This emotional safety can boost team morale and encourage creativity.

However, focusing too much on being liked can have pitfalls:

• Avoiding uncomfortable but necessary conversations

• Tolerating underperformance to avoid conflict

• Prioritizing popularity over organizational goals

While likability is valuable for creating a positive atmosphere, it must not come at the expense of accountability or performance.

Being Respected

Respect stems from competence, reliability, and integrity. Respected leaders inspire confidence in their decisions and set a standard for excellence through their actions. Even if their choices aren’t always popular, they earn trust by staying true to their principles.

Traits of respected leaders include:

• Setting clear expectations and boundaries

• Following through on commitments consistently

• Making tough decisions that align with larger goals

Although respect may lack the immediate warmth of likability, it creates a foundation for lasting success and resilience within teams.

The Power of Respect in Leadership: By the Numbers

• Respect drives loyalty: According to SHRM, employees who feel respected are 55% more likely to remain with their organization long-term. Respect signals fairness and integrity, which fosters loyalty.

• Likability enhances collaboration: A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that likable leaders improve social trust and team collaboration by creating emotionally safe environments.

• Balancing both boosts performance: Research from Gallup shows that teams led by managers who balance respect and likability experience higher engagement, productivity, and satisfaction. Together, these qualities create workplaces where people thrive.

  
  

Lessons from Real-World Leadership

Steve Jobs: A Case Study in Respect Over Likability

Steve Jobs wasn’t known for his likability—many described him as demanding and difficult to work with. Yet his vision and relentless pursuit of excellence earned him deep respect from colleagues and competitors alike. His legacy as one of history’s most effective leaders proves that respect can outlast fleeting popularity when paired with results-driven leadership.

Margaret Thatcher: The Iron Lady

One excellent example of a leader who was respected more than liked is Margaret Thatcher, the former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. Thatcher was known for her unwavering principles and decisive leadership style, earning her the nickname "The Iron Lady." She prioritized making tough decisions over seeking popularity, often implementing policies that were controversial but ultimately transformative for the UK economy, such as privatizing state-owned industries and curbing union power.

Thatcher herself famously stated, "If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing." Her leadership style garnered immense respect for her conviction and effectiveness, even among critics who disagreed with her policies

Politicians: A Case Study in Chasing the Popularity Carrot

Consider this: only 5% of Americans trust politicians—YES, I am gonna go here........a statistic that perfectly illustrates the point I’m about to make.

Politicians are in the business of winning popularity contests. Their primary motivation is to be liked so they can get elected. This drives them to try to be all things to all people, which is impossible. It's the wrong motivation. The result? Everyone sees through the insincerity, the lack of integrity, and the misplaced priorities.

It's a bad idea.

Actionable Insights for Leaders

If you’re ready to elevate your leadership game, here’s how you can strategically cultivate both respect and likability:

1. Prioritize Respect First

Respect lays the groundwork for sustainable leadership success. Here’s how to earn it:

• Set Clear Expectations: Define goals and boundaries upfront to eliminate ambiguity.

• Be Consistent: Follow through on promises to demonstrate reliability.

• Admit Mistakes: Show humility by owning your errors and using them as growth opportunities.

PRO TIP: Sharing stories about your mistakes and the lessons they taught you is a powerful way to build trust, showcase authenticity, and demonstrate true humility.

2. Integrate Likability Strategically

Once you’ve established respect, add a layer of approachability to create a well-rounded leadership style:

• Use Nonverbal Cues: A smile or open body language can go a long way in building trust.

• Celebrate Wins: Recognize team accomplishments to boost morale and camaraderie.

• Be Approachable: Foster an environment where employees feel comfortable sharing ideas or concerns.

PRO TIP: A sense of humor....goes a long way.

3. Master the Balance Between Both Attributes

The magic lies in finding harmony between respect and likability:

• Deliver Feedback Candidly but Empathetically: Frame constructive criticism as an opportunity for growth while addressing issues directly.

• Combine Warmth with Strength: Show you care about your team while making decisions that align with organizational goals.

• Foster Trust Through Action: Paint a clear vision for your team and back it up with consistent follow-through.

PRO TIP: Focus on value to the company and to your team, and likability will be a natural consequence of that.

Why Respect Should Lead Your Leadership Style

Leadership isn’t about winning a popularity contest—it’s about creating impact that lasts. While being likable can help build initial connections, respect is what drives accountability, trust, and results over time. The best leaders know how to weave both qualities into their style to inspire collaboration without compromising performance.

Respect may feel like the slower path at first glance—but it leads to enduring relationships, resilient teams, and a workplace culture where everyone thrives.

Pro Tip: Shift Your Mindset

Instead of asking yourself how to be more popular at work, focus on this question: “How can my leadership add value to the team today?”  When you lead with integrity and purpose, likability often follows naturally.

As a leader, the way you balance being liked and being respected plays a crucial role in shaping your company culture.

For more insights, please check out www.thepovpodcast.com. Also, download our free mini eBook, The Mindset Shift: How Successful Business Owners Think Differently.

Our upcoming blog will explore how leaders can strike the perfect balance between positivity and realism when navigating both successes and setbacks.